Since I'm turning 19 tomorrow, I thought a lot about a possible fitting post for this occasion. This year I feel like my birthday arrived faster than a bliss. I just wasn't expecting to turn 19 this soon (I still feel like a thirteen-year-old, who just got her period).
In the past year, I've learned a lot about life and its lessons, that we experience as we get older. I know, I sound like an old wise lady, but that's just how it is. This week I wanted to look back to the lessons I've learned along the way and decided to write them down for you, because I feel like you can relate to some of them.
YOU CAN PUSH YOURSELF THROUGH MORE THAN YOU THINK
Everyone of us fears something, apart from the usual spiders and ghosts. It could be going on skyscrapers, being on a plane or riding a roller coaster. I'm scared of any kind of test, wether it's an exam, an internship or job interview. I always get this awful feeling in my stomach, which concludes in me not eating anymore and emptying my guts (sorry for that). This year I had to go through a lot of those situations and let me just say, the feeling didn't get better, but I learned to live with it, work with it or simply ignore it. I realized that you can push yourself through more than you think, if you really want to. It's not easy, but possible.
People change, as cliche as that sounds. While we get closer to adulthood we build our character, try out new things, discover interests and make decisions. We change with the stuff we experience and so does everyone else, friends, family and partners. And not everyone changes for the best. It's hard, but that's just how life is sometimes. But remember, you do not have to change with them, the way they do! It is up to you, if you want to live with those changes or not, but I will touch up on that one later.
NOTHING HAPPENS AS EXPECTED
I think to this lesson is not much to add to, it speaks for itself. We shouldn't worry too much about what might be happening (which I tend to do a lot), because mostly everything will turn out differently. I am a big believer in things happening for a reason.
IT'S THE SMALL THINGS THAT MAKE US HAPPY
This lesson is one I've learned quite recently. I used to believe that only the big things, the one with a big impact, are the ones that brighten our day. They still do make us happy, but I've come to realize, that the smallest things we do, are the ones that brighten our day. It could be going on a walk with your family, having a drink with a friend or playing a board game with someone. We should appreciate and remember it everyday and maybe something big might develop out of it.
As I mentioned in lesson 2, people change. And sometimes not for the best. It could be our best friend. You've been friends for several years and from one day to another their behavior changes completely. It's fine until they start to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. It's fine until you get unhappy in the friendship. Sometimes we have to let go of people to become ourselves again. I'm not saying you have to shut them out of your life completely. Friendships can be forever, but sometimes friends are only for a certain amount of time. They were right for us at that time and we were right for them, but maybe not forever. That's just part of life.
IF ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER ONE OPENS
This is something my mom would use to tell me, when I lost a friend or I've been going through a massive change. At first, I thought it was just one of those hyper cliche quotes you would find in those calendars, with no truth to it, but along the way I noticed how true this sentence really is. If you lose something or someone really important to you, it seems like everything you've come to know, is gone. You feel like a stranger in your own life and nothing's as before. It's hard, no question. But remember, life goes on. You meet new people and you take new opportunities and with every decision you make, something new comes into you life. It might not happen tomorrow or next week, but give it time and you will see that another door opens for you.
BE MORE SPONTANEOUS
Routine. Routine's something I've always been good at and needed. I'm a routine person. Over the last couple of weeks I've tried to just be more spontaneous, but it turns out harder than I've thought it would be. For starters I got a job as a waitress in a hotel and being called in spontaneously and the weekly changing working scedule was something I had to get used to. But maybe that's just what I actually needed. It's hard to be spontaneous as a routine person. Agreeing to a last minute coffee date or a cinema visit, that's what I started with and from time to time I noticed that those spontaneous adventures were the ones I liked the most. And now I would like to describe myself as a pretty spontaneous person.
YOU NEED TO BE ONE, WHO IS HAPPY WITH YOUR ACTIONS
Until I turned 18 last year, I didn't drink an ounce of alcohol (I do now on the occasion). I didn't want to, I didn't feel the need to. Of course, as it usually is in puberty, not everyone understood that. I was called boring and prude. While others spent their Friday night partying, I was in bed reading or watching a rom com. Naturally, those words others said about me hurt. Who wouldn't be hurt by that? But I just didn't enjoy going out the whole night, I never felt comfortable whenever I tried. So eventually I stopped trying and just did what I felt comfortable with. I'm glad that I did, because I stayed true to myself and looking back at it now, I know that's what's most important. Do things the way you feel the most comfortable with, because in the end you are the one who has to live with it and not someone else.
TAKE IT DAY BY DAY
I am one of those people, who like to think two weeks ahead and makes themselves crazy with nervousness. I always go to my Mom for advice on how to deal with overthinking things, that are way further in the future. Every time she tells me to just take it day by day. Focus on what you have to do on that day or what needs your full attention and not what might happen in a month time. It helps a lot. I know it's hard to just delete it from your mind, but at least try. I am still practicing to live like that as well.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about”
— HARUKI MURAKAMI